literature

Monty Hoofton's Galloping Circus 4

Deviation Actions

paxtofettel's avatar
By
Published:
975 Views

Literature Text

(The scene opens on a large regal ball. Dozens upon dozens of rich, snobby aristoponies fill the large main floor of whosever bloody mansion they are at. Slowly, the camera pans to the right, focusing on a single unicorn stallion that is conversing with others of his ilk. He has a white coat and dons a fancy suit, handkerchief and all.  His blue mane is neatly combed and upon his left eye rests a golden monocle. He turns towards the camera, smiles, polishes his monocle with his handkerchief and says)

"And now for something completely fancy"

"ITS….!"

Monty Hoofton's Galloping Circus

Sketch: A Feast of Fermented Curd

\\\\\\\\\\\\

Our little story starts in a magical place that is full to the brim with such wonders that one would believe that he or she has stepped into a real of pure excellence: the public library!…Boring!...Now see here young whippersnapper; I'll have you know that a library is not boring at the slightest. Why, you could have so much fun browsing their wide selection of tomes and novels, including the latest Daring Doo novel; a fine piece of work, if I might add. In fact, I used to work in a library before I got this dead end job, and may I say that those days were the absolute best in my entire…CRASH!!

We once again apologize for interrupting the story, but it appears that the previous author that had been sent to the moon had somehow returned. As such, said author has been banished to the moon and placed in a dungeon where he was banished to.

Now where did we leave off? Ah right! In this library, there were a number of ponies browsing through the building's enormous collection of books; but, there was one pony there that was quite special than the rest. You may recognize this pony from the second chapter of this particular tale. Yes, that's right; it was none other than Canterlot's premiere cellist, Octavia Allegrezza.

The black maned Veneightian mare was currently focused on the large, hardbound tome on the life of one of Equestria's most famous composers, Ludwig von Beethoofen. She had read this book many times before, but every time she visited this place, she would always start with this particular book. It wasn't as if there was anything different every time she opened it; it wasn't really a magical book. But, she didn't care one single bit; she always enjoyed reading on the Kingdom's most prolific character since King Solaris the Magnificent. When the final page of the book was closed, she leaned back in her seat, at peace with her mind and body… that is until she felt a strange rumbling in her stomach.

"Goddess, I am famished."

The earth pony contemplated on where she should go to partake in a bit of snacking. Prench food? No, she would do that for her night with Frederic tomorrow. Eastern food? Anything made by those cranes always went right through her. She was at a total loss at what to do, the hunger slowly rising until the desire to feast was the only thing going through her mind. That is, until she spotted it.

She looked out the window to her left and she saw the answer to all her problems. It was a simple establishment; small with nary a single decoration. But that was not what she cared about; she was only focused on the sign hanging above the door.

Grand Opening! Dairy Milk's Cheese Emporium

"THAT'S IT!!" she cried before being "shushed" by every pony in the room; "Sorry."

So it was finally settled; the gray mare would bring an end to this plague of famishment with the gift of cheese. Octavia immediately made her way out of the library; stopping only to leave the book at the main desk so they can do whatever they wished with it. As she exited the building, she was confronted with a vast moving wall of ponies out on their daily runs… Wait, if there were many ponies out, then how did she see the cheese shop?... Easy, the street was empty that time…But…Moving on!

At first, she was considering abandoning her quest all together after being presented with this seemingly insurmountable obstacle. However, the rumbling in her inner regions seemed to balk at the thought; Oh no you don't, it seemed to say, you are going to feed me cheese and you are going to do it now!

Seeing no other choice, Octavia began to push her way through the crowd, voicing out apologies to the ponies she shoved. She pushed and shoved for what seemed like hours, struggling to keep the stench of sweaty, dirty ponies out of her nostrils. Finally, she had escaped the vice grip of the crowd and she stood before her goal. Had she not been educated in the finer points of etiquette, she would have been jumping for joy like a filly that had been given a toy as a gift. The mare noticed a distinct sign hanging on the door; Licensed for public instrument playing, it said. Octavia found this rather interesting, but her stomach did not allow her to think much of it. Without a moment's hesitation, she opened the door and stepped inside.

As she entered, her ears perked up at the sweet sound of music coming from her right. When she turned to find the source, her eyes fell upon a turquoise unicorn mare sitting on a simple three legged bench with her hind legs dangling over the edge. In her hooves, she held a golden lyre, Preek design by the looks of it. She was plucking the strings, producing the most glorious melodies that the cellist has ever heard. She had half a mind to ask for this pony's name, but, once again, her insides would have none of it.

When Octavia looked over to the counter, she noticed that there was no pony standing on the other side. As she trotted up to the wooden countertop, she noticed a small bell on top of it.

This must be to summon the proprietor, she guessed.

She took the bell in her mouth and gave it a few shakes, creating a sort of tinny sound. No answer. Octavia shook it again, this time a bit harder. Still no answer. All the while, the unicorn was still playing her lyre in the corner. Octavia, a bit annoyed at being denied service, shook the bell again, this time as vigorously as she could.

"Yeah, yeah," a voice called out, "I'm comin'" Suddenly, the door behind the counter opened, revealing a single seemingly ordinary mare. However, once Octavia saw those magenta eyes, white coat, and cobalt mane, she immediately regretted her decision to come here.

"YOU!?" she cried out.

Vinyl Scratch merely smirked at the grey mare's shocked reaction. "Well, well," she began, "if it ain't Miss Prissy herself."

Octavia's face changed from that of confusion to one of anger. "My name is Octavia, Ms. Scratch," she reminded, "May I ask what in Veneighce's name are you doing here?"

The DJ merely rolled her eyes at the question. "I work here," she retorted, "what does it look like?"

"Yes, I can see that. But why would a mare of your position be working in a cheese shop?"

Vinyl Scratch sighed; "Long story short: there weren't many gigs for me after the big wedding and my rent was due; so I decided to take this stupid job."

As Vinyl answered Octavia's question, the earth pony mare could not help but stare at the unicorns full, luscious lips. Those lips that she had longed for every single moment of her mortal life. Those lips that she wanted to kiss and lick when the two engaged in a night of love making. Those lips that…

"Excuse me."

Uh, yes Octavia?

"What are you doing?"

Um, I'm narrating the story, miss; it's my job.

"Is that so? Then what was all that about me and her lips?"

Well, I'm merely narrating your train of thought. It's a common thing in storytelling.

"You seriously believe that I would be attracted to her?! That uncouth, dirty, raunchy, cretina?!"

"I'm standing right here, you know?"

But the readers love a romance story. They would all go crazy for a scene between you two.

"If you do not end this nonsense, I will walk out of this pezzo di merda!"

Fine, fine; if you insist.

"Good," she said, satisfied with her victory, "now then Miss Scratch, while I would never purchase anything from an establishment that hires ponies such as you, I find myself a bit esurient."

The unicorn rolled her eyes while the lyre player continued plucking her strings. "Okay, can you repeat that in Common?" she said.

Octavia groaned at the lower pony's ignorance. "I am hungry," she reiterated.

"See, was that so hard?" Vinyl teased, "what are you hungry for?"

"Well, I was at the library when I suddenly developed a sudden craving for some cheesy comestibles," Octavia explained.

"'Scuse me?" asked the white unicorn.

Another groan came from the cellist's throat. "I would like to buy some cheese," she said, through her teeth.

"Well, ya came to the right place!" exclaimed the DJ, "any type you're interested in?"
Octavia took a moment to think about her question. What type of cheese should she ask for? There were so many flavors of formaggio that it was so hard to come to a decision. "How about some Gryphonian Red Cheese?"

"Ran out of it yesterday" answered the mare behind the counter.

That was one cheese scratched out of the list. "Very well," she returned, not discouraged by this slight bump, "Northern Blue Cheese?"

"Goblins stole the newest shipment."

Another cheese that she would not be able to enjoy. "Maredridian Goat Cheese?"

"No."

Octavia was starting to get rather annoyed at the dwindling number of fermented curd choices. "Prench Fromage?"

"Not until Tuesday," responded Vinyl with a shake of her head.

"Mozzarella?"

"No"

"Camelia Camel Cheese?"

"No- wait, that exists?"

The cellist though about it for a moment. "No, I guess it doesn't. Any Cheddar?"

"Not really."

Octavia looked at Vinyl Scratch in shock; "No Cheddar?" she exclaimed, "How can you not have Cheddar? Everypony eats Cheddar?"

The unicorn smirked; "Which is exactly why we don't have any Cheddar."

"Fine, do you have- WILL YOU STOP PLAYING THAT DAMNED LYRE!?" The turquoise unicorn obliged her request, looking a bit depressed at being yelled at… That wasn't very nice… Yes well, after a while it does get rather annoying.

"Aw, was that really necessary?" asked Vinyl, "we are licensed for public instrument playing."

"Never mind that," Octavia shot back, "now then, do you have any cheese at all in this fine place of purveyance?"


Vinyl scoffed at the question; "Well duh! It is kind of a 'cheese shop'."

"Well if that's the case, why isn't there any cheese when I ask for it?" Octavia was once again nearing the end of her considerable patient. First the incident at the pet shop and now this. Everywhere she went, incompetence always seemed to follow close behind.

"Look Miss Prissy, I don't run this place; I just work here part time. If you want to complain like the stuck up you are, then I suggest you do it out of my face," said Vinyl, clearly not at all amused with her current situation.

Octavia's eyes suddenly lit up as if a fire began raging inside of her head. "My name is OCTAVIA!" and with that, she threw herself over the countertop with murderous intent. She tackled Vinyl Scratch to the ground; hooves making contact with her face. The two became a tangled mess of limbs, each one trying to assert domination over the other. Bites on the ears were sprinkled in with the vast number of slaps and punches the two shared.

As they fought, the unicorn that had, up until a while ago, been peacefully playing her instrument got up off the bench and towards the counter. She looked over the top and watched as the two mares went at each other's throat.

"Um, you may want to cut off at this point," said the mare, turning her head towards the camera, "I fear that things are only going to get worst."

I knew that I should have convinced them to do a romantic scene.

(The scene cuts to a view of a vast, scorched landscape of brown, brown, and more brown. What had once been Equestria has been reduced to a wasteland, nary a bit of green in sight. The only thing that is completely significant is the ordinary desk that is somehow much more intact then everything else. Suddenly, sound of explosions and gunfire are heard offscreen. A small unicorn mare with a gray coat and a short brown mane gallops into view, a revolver levitating beside her. She fires a few shots at an unseen foe before trotting up to the desk.)

"And now for something completely different," the mare says before taking off again.
:iconcbyfplz::iconcbyf2plz:

Bet you thought I was done with this, huh?

Sketch: [link]


LittlePip is sole property of Kkat AKA The Goddess of Fanfiction.
© 2012 - 2024 paxtofettel
Comments0
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In